I’m not going to let him get to me again.
Really. At all.
My dad has this way of emotionally blackmailing everyone and he’s been really emotionally abusing me since I can remember. But I’m not going to say anything because honestly I’ve learn to let things go and have realized that everything is not my fault. So I’m content.
Basically it all started in March. My mom was driving me to school and we got into a car crash. The car ended up tearing our front bumper off and it’s a Mercedes, so it’s pretty expensive to repair. The engine stopped working because of the impact. My dad wanted to collect money for it since it wasn’t our fault. Some lunatic literally ran the red light and crashed into us full speed.
Anyways he never showed up to court and by some events we never ended up getting the insurance money.
On the scene of the accident I decided to be a smart ass and take pictures of the accident in case we ever needed them. I told my dad and mom about it in case they needed it.
Months passed. No one ever asked me for the pictures. They were crappy pictures anyways, from far away and weren’t even focused on the damage of the car, more like the position of the car etc.
So months passed and no one asks me anything of the pictures or anything. Time flies and I eventually forget the pictures. The memory in my phone is full and I decide to sync the pictures on to my laptop and forget about them.
Eventually I get a new phone.
The week my grandma passed away was really blurry and my laptop broke. I don’t really remember how. All I remember is that the power button stopped working.
That same week my grandma died I stayed at my aunts house. i went to school for two days and decided to stay home on Friday. I couldn’t focus on any of my work and everything was horrible. So I stayed home on Friday.
When my aunt dropped me off at my front house, my dad had the nastiest face ever. He scarred me that day.
He said things like I was using my grandma’s death as an excuse for not going to school. I had cried the whole night the night before and felt like my grandma was talking to me the whole time which made things so much worse.
So I go straight to my bedroom after my dad tells me these things and after a awhile I start talking to my dad because I can’t sleep. He raged on about how it was guilt and I was guilty and it was my fault she suffered so much because I would stay up late (to finish h.w btw) and how I never treated her right. 8 years I spent sharing my room with my gramma and he wants to tell me that it was my fault she died the way she did. And he blamed me for the broken laptop and told me he would have someone look at it. (He never did).
Back to topic
In mid February he tells me that he has a court date in march about the accident and he needs the pictures to get the money he paid for repairs. I told him that they were in my laptop and my laptop was broken. He went on a huge rant about how I was irresponsible and “good for nothing” and etc. (I really don’t want to remember that moment again)
That night I tried starting my laptop and it didn’t work. I searched through my old phone and they weren’t there. I even went through every single email account hoping I emailed it to myself and found nothing. The photos were still in the old laptop. and my dad never got it fixed.
Yesterday he dropped me off at school and the whole way there asked me about the pictures, I told thin they were in my laptop and it was broken. He yelled at me the whole way, at the top of his lungs. He threatened to take away everything and that “all hell would break loose” if I didn’t find the pictures.
In between the time my laptop broke, I started using my 10 year old brother’s laptop because he barely used it and because I needed it for homework purposes.
So today I came from school and my dad tells me to look everywhere again. I know they’re not anywhere so I just took a nap and ate and went on tumblr. By the time he came home he yelled at me to try to find them. When I tried and didn’t find them. (I cleared out my drawers, searched through every single email again, searched everywhere) He started emotionally blackmailing me. (Again). He yelled at the top of his lungs again that I was irresponsible
He said that the moment I took the pictures he said he would need them when he didn’t even inquire about them until almost a year later and that he didn’t take any pictures of the damage himself because “I had them.” ??? So you took the Mercedes to the autoshop and left it there for four months without even taking a single picture yourself? Or are you just using me as an excuse for your ignorance?
I seriously am cursing myself for ever taking those pictures. From now on I’m going to mind my own business and my give a shit about other people’s lives and w.e.
He took away my broken laptop and said he’s going to bring to a shop and ask them how it broke if it was “negligence” then he will break my neck. He also told my 10 year old brother (that i share rooms with because it was my grandma’s dying wish that he be taken out of the room he shared with my other brother because he was being abused there) not to ever let me touch his laptop again because I’m an irresponsible (LOL) little shit (even though I’ve been using the laptop for 5 months, because he’s too fucking lazy to go fix it)
Then he yelled some more and tried to take away my phone. (Nope)
So I broke down a little bit and told him to go ahead and kill me if he wanted to so Badly and use my insurance money to pay for the damage. He simply just said I have no insurance and walked away.
Now he’s trying to look for it himself and cursing every now and then. Probably going to threaten to have me removed from school etc.
I’m pretty much done. And I never want to talk to him again. He’s an alcoholic, abusive and has no common sense. I am pretty much done with this. So three more months till I go to college. I remember the Friday he made me feel like shit my aunt from Canada told me to just bear with it a few more months till I went to college and then I would be free.
So three more months and I’m home-free.